homosexuality « secretlifeofangi

I learnt a lot about Buddhism yesterday. I assume that there are different currents of Buddhism, so let’s just say I learnt a lot about one kind of it.

I was correcting an essay written by my language exchange partner from China. It was about her Heimat (home). She was talking about how beautiful the place is: flowers, gorgeous landscape, clean air, and lovely people. And I was like: ”WTF? I thought she is from Beijing?” And then she went on that her Heimat is like a big university and as soon as people graduate, they go out into the world to help others. (what she actually wrote: … sie gehen nach andere Welten, um Leute zu helfen.) Insensitive as I am, I started to laugh, and explained to her that this means that after the students graduate, they die and then help people. We both laughed and I went on reading: Ich vermisse meine Heimat, ich habe sie nie gesehen. (I miss my home, I have never seen it.) At that point I was really confused. Why has she never seen it? Finally, she explained to me that she is talking about a place where Buddhists go to, if they have been really good people; they break out of the loop of being reborn and are allowed to live the pure land. I was surprised because I didn’t know she was Buddhist. And she is not a kind of Buddhist; like I am a Christian … she is serious about it. By that I mean that she is reading all the scriptures, prays, visits the temple and lives according to Buddha’s doctrine. We started talking about China and its culture and she revealed something horrible (that’s what she said) to me: she is divorced, because her ex-husband was kind of… hmmm… not straight? She told me that at first she was sad, and angry, but didn’t want to get a divorce, because you don’t just divorce in China. But now she is cool with it. And then she said something I was surprised about and turned my stereotype filled world upside down: “It’s not their fault, it is not a choice!”

And that from the mouth of someone from China, where they are more than behind on homosexual rights and acceptance in general! But after a few minutes I realised that she was not as open-minded as I thought. She explained to me that it was not their choice, but it is rather a kind of punishment because they have done something bad in their previous lives. So being gay is a punishment (their lives is harder than being a heterosexual, I suppose is partly what she meant by that). So I asked what they could have done wrong in their previous lives that they had to be punished. “It could be different things. For example they wore girl’s dresses or married a relative.” Oh.. I see. But then I wondered: If being gay is considered “bad”, how will they have a better next life? “By trying to suppress thinking about men/women, confess sins and be a good Buddhist.” Aha.

She also told me that she wanted to develop drugs for illnesses like heart diseases, but studying pharmaceutics she realised that these treatments only make people sicker and the problem is the food we eat. I said that I partly agree with that. She told me that there are toxins in meat and if people stopped eating meat, they would not be so sick. That is also partly true… but everything is relative. I argued against saying that toxins can also be found in vegetables and other things, so she should not blame meat alone. She kind of ignored that. She went on about the meat, and at a certain point I introduced my argument with: “I eat meat.” Big shock, she thought I was a vegetarian. An awkward moment followed.

She explained how heaven and hell works and that you collect something that we call karma during your life, which decides as whom you are reborn. Also, there is a reason why you do certain things, like me studying Chinese for example. She said that I do this, because in my previous lives I have always studied Chinese. It was inevitable. And in your lives you plant seeds and at a certain point, these seeds will get water and a beautiful flower will grow. (Then you are a Buddhist, at least the way I understood it). So everything you do contributes to you becoming a flower. She concluded that even if I don’t become a Buddhist now, this talk will be one seed that I plant and maybe in one or in ten or 20 lives, I will become a flower. Good to know so I didn’t feel bad when I bought ham on my way home. 🙂

I just want to emphasise that she was not trying to convince me to convert or be into Buddhism straight away. She just wanted to tell me how her religion works, and that was very interesting for me. So in no way is was uncomfortable or pressuring. She was lovely all the time. We talked a lot and I learned a lot.Even though I like some of the Buddhist ideas, I will definitely not become a Buddhist in this life. Maybe in my next. 🙂